October Review😲 OMG It's November already

Hey readers,

To summarise this month in one word, I would say it was revealing. I say this, as I travelled to England and back to Portugal again, I began seeing the relationships around me clearly and how they effect my life, my personality and how it was defying me.

This month started with me in England where I finally got my braces off. I was able to stay for my best friends birthday and catch up with my friends and see my sister. Although everyone was busy, I still had a good time and I realised how much I missed England.

When I came back to Portugal I got a call from my other sister, saying she got a new job and she was wondering if I could take care of little Lily, my 1 year old niece. That was an offer I couldn't refuse, so I got on a train to my home town, and stayed at my mums.

Like I mention previously on my blog, this gap year is for me to learn more about my self, taking a step back and reflect on who I am.

I was always a person that new what she wanted because I created goals for me to achieve like, going college, get a job, go on holiday, get into Uni, etc ... But the truth is, it was hard focusing on those goals, because I constantly question myself, on my actions, what I say, do, my relationship with my family and friends.

I would ask myself why do I over think? and then I would remember that before moving to England, back in my school in Portugal, I was given labels and couldn't express who I was because of those relationships and situations that were around me back then, and because at the time, me being so young and feeling like the world was against me, that I became to doubt myself.

Honestly I never thought I would stay as long as I am in my hometown, because deep down I still had some grudges over my childhood, before moving to England.

A couple of weeks ago I saw one of my friends in school from Portugal on the train and when we talked for a bit, it surfaced all the bad memories that had happen and I guess my problem was that I never really faced those situations. I thought I forgave and forgotten but I guess I just wanted to get on with my life and not touch the subject of my childhood.

But, I've been praying for healing in my memories and been asking God to remove all the bad things and bad habits in my life and soon after I began to see how difficult situations would rise and those situations, are what God wants me to face and work on.

My family has a lot of issues to work on and I never really made them my priority as I was in England working and studying. Now I have the time to make them my priority and help them, in whatever I can.

Conclusion, I'm thankful where I am right now, because I'm breaking through, being more productive and beginning to trust more in myself and in others.

Everything happens for a reason, I'm excited to see what's next.

One of my role models is my grandmother and it's her birthday today 🎉🎉

I wish everyone an extra special wonderful day x